10 Steps to Mindfulness

This article by Leo Babauta originally appeared at ThirdAge.

"Smile, breathe and go slowly." - Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen Buddhist monk

The idea of being mindful - being present, being more conscious of life as it happens - may seem contradictory to those who are used to sacrificing living for pursuing their goals ... but cultivating mindfulness will help you achieve your goals and enjoy life more.

Focusing on one task at a time, putting yourself fully into that task, is much more effective than multi-tasking. Focusing on one real goal at a time is also more effective. Focusing on what you're doing right now is highly effective. You're more productive when you're mindful.

But more importantly, being present is undoubtedly the only way to enjoy life to the fullest. By being mindful, you enjoy your food more, you enjoy friends and family more, you enjoy anything you're doing more. Anything. Even things you might think are drudgery or boring, such as housework, can be amazing if you are truly present. Try it - wash dishes or sweep or cook, and remain fully present. It takes practice, but it's incredible.

Life in the Present: A 10-Step Approach

1. Do one thing at a time. Single-task, don't multi-task. When you're pouring water, just pour water. When you're eating, just eat. When you're bathing, just bathe. Don't try to knock off a few tasks while eating or bathing or driving. Zen proverb: "When walking, walk. When eating, eat."

2. Do it slowly and deliberately. You can do one task at a time, but also rush that task. Instead, take your time, and move slowly. Make your actions deliberate, not rushed and random. It takes practice, but it helps you focus on the task.

3. Do less. If you do less, you can do those things more slowly, more completely and with more concentration. If you fill your day with tasks, you will be rushing from one thing to the next without stopping to think about what you do. But you're busy and you can't possibly do less, right? You can. I've done it, and so have many busy people. It's a matter of figuring out what's important, and letting go of what's not.

4. Put space between things. Related to the "Do less" rule, but it's a way of managing your schedule so that you always have time to complete each task. Don't schedule things close together - instead, leave room between things on your schedule. That gives you a more relaxed schedule, and leaves space in case one task takes longer than you planned.

5. Spend at least 5 minutes each day doing nothing. Just sit in silence. Become aware of your thoughts. Focus on your breathing. Notice the world around you. Become comfortable with the silence and stillness. It'll do you a world of good - and just takes 5 minutes!

6. Stop worrying about the future - focus on the present. Become more aware of your thinking - are you constantly worrying about the future? Learn to recognize when you're doing this, and then practice bringing yourself back to the present. Just focus on what you're doing, right now. Enjoy the present moment.

7. When you're talking to someone, be present. How many of us have spent time with someone but have been thinking about what we need to do in the future? Or thinking about what we want to say next, instead of really listening to that person? Instead, focus on being present, on really listening, on really enjoying your time with that person.

8. Eat slowly and savor your food. Food can be crammed down our throats in a rush, but where's the joy in that? Savor each bite, slowly, and really get the most out of your food. Interestingly, you'll eat less this way, and digest your food better as well.

9. Live slowly and savor your life. Just as you would savor your food by eating it more slowly, do everything this way - slow down and savor each and every moment. As I type this, for example, I have my 3-year-old daughter, Noelle, on my lap. She's just sitting here quietly, as the rain pours down in a hush outside. What a lovely moment. In fact, I'm going to take a few minutes off just to be with her now. Be right back. :)

10. Make cleaning and cooking become meditation. Cooking and cleaning are often seen as drudgery, but actually they are both great ways to practice mindfulness, and can be great rituals performed each day. If cooking and cleaning seem like boring chores to you, try doing them as a form of meditation. Put your entire mind into those tasks, concentrate, and do them slowly and completely. It could change your entire day (as well as leave you with a cleaner house).

Keep practicing. When you get frustrated, just take a deep breath. When you ask yourself, "What should I do now, Self?" The answer is, "keep practicing."

"When you drive around the city and come to a red light or a stop sign, you can just sit back and make use of these twenty or thirty seconds to relax - to breathe in, breathe out, and enjoy arriving in the present moment. There are many things like that we can do." - Thich Nhat Hanh

Original article
Photo by patries71

Blessing Others: A Practice for Opening the Heart

“Blessings” is the sign-off I use in my e-mail correspondence. It was a conscious choice to do so. I was at a stage in my life when “Sincerely” was just too cold; “Love” a bit too warm for a general farewell, especially to business associates. I had to find the one that fit me the best. “Blessings” felt just right.

E-mail is but one of the many opportunities we have to bless others. Throughout the day, we have many opportunities to offer them well wishes, both verbally and non-verbally.

It’s easy to bless the people we love, harder to confer a blessing of peace and happiness upon a prickly other. More challenging yet, if someone has hurt or betrayed us. I’ve often viewed the presence of difficult others in my life as an opportunity for me to love more; to move from hardheartedness to openheartedness, from expectation-holding to letting go, from grudge-holding to forgiveness. Blessing, in fact, may be one of the most powerful practices we can use to keep our hearts open to one another.

Go Undercover

Without them even being aware of it, we can bestow our goodwill on another. Consider the people we encounter in the course of our day, people who may appear to be “invisible.” The woman who scans our groceries at the checkout counter, the groundskeeper at our condo, the janitor at our children’s school, countless others, too many to name. What if we sent a silent, “Bless You,” as we passed them by? “Bless you for your hard work.” “Bless you for doing your job so I can live more comfortably.” “Bless you for caring for my children.” And so on.

Send a “Body Blessing”

With folks to whom we are more intimately connected, we might employ another form of blessing—a “Body Blessing.” Some of us are reluctant huggers. We give quick hugs, embracing someone out of formality or expectation with no real warmth to be found in it. What if we took this body-to-body opportunity to hug a blessing into them? As we press our cheek or shoulder to theirs, we can silently offer them a blessing of health, inner peace, or joy.

Just Say It

Sometimes the direct path of blessing is best. We need to speak our blessing aloud, face-to-face. This is difficult if we have been raised in stoic families who frown upon such outward expressions. Or, perhaps we are shy about speaking our blessings to another for fear of their response. In any case, a verbal expression of well-being or gratitude may be precisely what is needed to deepen our relationship. A whisper in the ear works wonders; an eye-to-eye confession is even better. Engaging in this way brings boundless rewards, to both the giver and the receiver.

The practice of blessing is good for what ails us. It invites us to express gratitude for the presence of others in our lives. It reminds us to see and affirm their basic goodness. Blessing is so very simple. Two little words, sincerely spoken, can change how we perceive our world. “Bless you” is all it takes ...

© Janice Lynne Lundy, 2009

Janice Lynne Lundy is participating in the WOW! Women on Writing Blog Tour, promoting her book, Your Truest Self.

Private Time with Dad

My son Isaac taught me a form of ritual. When he was about six I asked him, what do you think you should do when life feels complicated? Without any hesitation he said, “sit down, think, ask for help.” It is a process for both personal and communal learning that has taught me much.

Yesterday, I walked with my daughter, now 13. It was a “private walk with Dad.” We are vacationing, “holidaying” in Canada with grandparents and cousins. I wanted to make sure we had some time. My daughter so much relished the time. Her life, questions, stories were pouring out of her. We walked among the trees of this little town, Fairmont BC. We went to a favorite place, by a stream. I picked up two small stones. At the end of our walk I gave her one and called it a “truth stone.” It was a simple invitation, a simple symbol to invite our truth telling and witnessing with each other, whenever needed. It was one of those moments when my daughter and I just clicked in a great mix of laughter and seriousness.

Tenneson Woolf
tenneson@berkana.org


Sitting and Thinking photo by funkypancake
This is a Stone by Julio Martinez

How Lucky I am to Be Alive

Putting one's hand in a bucket of ice or just holding an ice cube helps with being stressed out. It immediately brings you back into your body. And it makes me think about warmer things. On a similar note, I often go to my window in the morning as I'm setting my intention for the day, thanking the creator for this precious human life. Sometimes I put my hand on the window and notice it's coolness. Then look out to see the sun bringing light into the day. Both of these actions remind me of humanness and how lucky I am to be alive. They help me to remember my connection to self and others and to our planet. My breath deepens and my body relaxes.

~Anonymous

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Listen to Birds, Insects, my Thoughts

Before mom passed away:
Called her every day
Told her I love her every day

What I always do:
Wash my face and brush my teeth before bedtime
Take my two pills before bedtime

What I strive to do:
Listen to birds in the morning
Listen to insects at night
Listen to my thoughts when I wake up
Look out the bedroom window at the roses blooming
Collect water from the shower and water plants outside
Recycle
Be conscious of water use
Have reading glasses in hand

What I do now:
Listen to Paul sleep
Check on Paul if he is napping in the daytime
Listen to how energy is flowing through my body

What I always have done:
Create
Watch
Think a lot
Touch different textures
Love music
Find beauty in everything

I think this is a lot, but I feel that it describes a lot of rituals in an overview that are important. I feel like I have just sent an outline of my life.

Cathryn P. Cooper
cathryn.artist@gmail.com
photo by Cathryn P. Cooper

Minimum Daily Dance Requirement - One Whole Song Every Day

Two of my favorite daily self-care rituals:
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1. My "MDDR" (Minimum Daily Dance Requirement). This is my tongue-in-cheek version of the "MDR" acronym, which stood for Minimum Daily Requirement in regard to vitamins and minerals). My MDDR is to dance at least one whole song every day. Just to be sure it always happens, I do it first thing upon rising in the morning. I love it!

2. "Three Nice Things." A while ago, I read about an experiment where participants (who were challenged by depression) took time every night to write down three nice things that happened to them that day. They also wrote about why they thought those things happened. The study found that this writing exercise markedly decreased symptoms of depression, and even after the participants had stopped doing the writing exercise for three months, the positive change in their mood still remained.

I thought that sounded like a great idea, depression or not. However, I didn't want the pressure of having to analyze the nice things that happened, and it felt like work to have to write anything down before bed. So I came up with my own version of the exercise.

Every night before I go to sleep, I think about three nice things that happened that day. Most days I remember many more than three things, but three is my minimum. Next, I think about three (or more) things I can do tomorrow that I know will make me and/or someone else feel good (the latter having the bonus of making me feel good as well, of course).

When I wake up the next morning, I don't let myself get out of bed until I do the ritual again. That is, I review the previous day and remember three nice things that happened. These can be the same things I thought about the night before, or different ones. After that, I think about three things I can do that day to make the day nicer (again, these can be the same things I thought about the night before, or different ones).

After doing the "Three Nice Things" ritual for while, I got hooked, because it's a sweet thing to do before and after dreamtime. I also noticed that it seems to help me go to sleep, which is a bonus. And it's a double bonus to drift off to sleep every night while thinking about nice things!

Over time, I've noticed that this simple ritual seems to be changing my ongoing daily thought patterns at deep-brain levels without further "efforting" on my part. In particular, I've noticed that my overall sense of gratitude and my focus on what's working (as opposed to what's not working) have both greatly increased. I mean, I've always been a grateful sort of person since I was a child. Even so, I strive to be even more appreciative of everyone and everything--and one of my goals in life is to experience gratitude as a constant state.

"Three Nice Things" has helped me tremendously in this regard, so I've made it part of my daily (and nightly) rituals for self-care. I don't know if my version of this exercise would have the same effect on another person's focus and "gratitude barometer," but who knows? Maybe the ripple effects for someone else might transport them to other equally lovely dimensions of life!

Cat Saunders
www.drcat.org

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I Take Breaks to Breathe, Rest My Mind and Eyes

Waking and sitting on the porch before I start my day, feeling the air, listening to birds, noticing how I am feeling, setting intention, perhaps drinking a lovely cup of coffee as I awaken to the day.

This continues throughout my day as I am on computer a lot, I take breaks to breathe, rest my mind and eyes, check in....even for just a small moment. Creativity cannot sustain itself well, I have found, without some space...

And of course caring for my dog brings a lot.....walking him a few times a day, I notice how it feels to be in a body that day....brushing him patiently brings me to the present.....giving things to him that makes him happy.

Food is also a great time to feel gratitude and commune with life energy, whether it be cooking, eating, growing food. And any exploration in/with for that matter can bring this opportunity for me.

Finally, most reliably in my day, I have found I need a certain amount of time alone, to do nothing at all. All kinds of things unwind in this space for me.

~ Anonymous


Woman on porch photo
Corn photo

Gratitude, Prayer, Meditation and Life Affirming Actions

One of the great truth that has changed and continues to change me came from my study with Dr. Angeles Arrien in Calif. She taught me that all traditional people believe that in order to live in a sacred blessing way, you need to have these three practices in your life daily. I call them rituals and express my original medicine with them. They are the practice of GRATITUDE which I take the time once or twice a day as I feed my horses to look around and say thank you for all the wonders etc in my life. The practice of PRAYER and MEDITATION is the second ritual and that is something that is evolving daily with my spiritual and soul growth. The third is to practice LIFE AFFIRMING ACTIONS everyday. This is the fun one as it reflects the first two. As Rumi says, "Let the beauty of what you love, be what you do"....or something like that!!

~ Anonymous

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I Deliberately Slow Down My Movements

As soon as I get up each morning I do 10 minutes of whole body stretching flat on my back on the floor to get back into my physical being - if I don't I feel at odds with the world all day, so I almost never miss (unless I'm on a plane, when I still do some limited stretching!)

After that I deliberately slow down my movements by at least half, even or especially if I'm late and in a hurry. That way I gradually tune into the world around me, eg the birds in the trees, the clouds, the plants growing all around me, rather than just into my preoccupations.

I always try to each lunch alone, as I work with people - the solitude is an oasis of soothing peace in the middle of the day - and if I see someone passing who I know I take care to hide my face, knowing I can spend time with THEM later!

Finally, I walk my dog Steve in the evening in the leafy lanes and fields - again I slow down and just allow whatever wants to come to my attention to do so. Steve seems to do the same, and we make good company for each other.....

David Duffy

photo source

Paying Attention to Relationships and Cats

A full account of my own rituals and their history could be a tome in themselves and it's a little daunting to try to share just enough to fit into an email. I'll limit myself to the present and near present, skip a lot of detail and going into why's and wherefore's. You'll see that for me healthy living includes paying attention to relationships.

This morning the clock radio went off at 5:30 p.m. tuned to the CBC radio station with some pleasant classical music. As she does every morning, L said sleepily "Hit the button?" Sometimes it's "Eight minutes?" During this time I slowly come to a sense of the day, the temperature, my urge to cozy down or to get up, what it's like outside, where the cats are - which is usually somewhere on the bed on my feet or in the crook of my knee or between us.

A while later in the kitchen I drink as much water as is comfortable and go into the living room, lay on my back and do some core muscle exercises while stretching my hands over my head. My big cat, Socks Bear, who we have taken to calling Kung Fu Panda, has his own rituals that he performs in a dance with L and me in turn. Cats are very addicted to rituals. Since my hands are out there he butts them and I absent mindedly, since I am concentrating on pulling my stomach in or lifting a leg in the air, grab a front paw or a back paw and tug. He loves it and purrs and pulls until I let go, and there is more of that.

I then move to the cushion for some half lotus Zen sitting. This is the one element that has almost always been present for over three decades. At this point my other cat Diva, who we have called ninja kitty for some time, as well as various babyish names, comes over for her turn. Little Bear heads off to some ritual with L that I haven't inquired into. Diva used to be able to climb into my hands and curl up completely inside them. Now she climbs in, pushes them apart and settles with chin hanging over my forearm and a slight purr. I wonder briefly about attachment to the pleasure of this trust as I concentrate on counting my breaths from one to ten, eyes open. The world of sound/sight /touch fills my senses, stray thoughts come for an instant or longer and pass by as I return to my breathing. I am amazed at the fullness of life. L comes in for her own meditation and then goes in the other room to turn on the TV for the news. I switch to chakra scanning which shuts out the announcer. As I finish - and Diva knows how long it usually is and will be unbearably cute if I meditate too much longer, doing things like standing up, looking me in the eyes and putting a soft paw on my mouth - I lift her to my shoulders and begin to stand. Socks comes over with a mew, and I pick him up in my arms then proceed to do a Zen one step per breath walk into the kitchen with the two of them. He jumps down to see if L will put her breakfast plate down for him and Diva stays on my shoulders fascinated by things I do in the kitchen. Finally I cut up a few green beans I keep in the fridge and bend down so she can jump off then give them to her as a pre-breakfast snack.

L usually leaves 10 or 15 minutes before me and I have insisted on a ritual good-bye kiss so she calls and I come to the door. We exchange a few sentences, often about logistics. Today it's about the rain and how wet it is.

The meditation awareness comes back to me during the day and often I tune to my breathing and notice the widening of awareness and relaxation it brings.

~anonymous

1st cat photo source
2nd cat photo source

Family Rituals Creating a Physical and Emotional Glow

Funny you should ask. This has been a big new (or lots of little new) bit in my life. I have started to meditate 20 minutes every morning. I have dance 1x/week and yoga 1x/week plus I'm wearing a pedometer to help me raise my awareness of my activity level with a goal of 10,000 steps a day. This means at least one walk a day or a number of shorter ones. Good for spring weather.

To engage the whole family in better awareness and care of our bodies, I have used the game-generation approach and we have a Wii Fit board which engages with quite a bit of hilarity, a little competitiveness (I am the mother of two boys, remember, one of whom is a gamer who does not leave his chair.) For the last week every evening before dinner we play together. It has created both a physical and emotional glow.

ALl these things help me separate a bit from my work - so much less blogging and blog reading. It is interesting to see the teeter totter of our life's rhythms.

Nancy White
Photo by Nancy

Beauty Reminds Me To Be Grateful

My current “ritual” is a beginning practice of gratitude. For the last several weeks I’ve just been using beauty to remind myself to be grateful. Sometimes it is the light out the window, or a quick view of a mountain, or some sprouts coming up in the garden… but I’m taking a moment (when I remember – which has been easier than I imagined) to NOTICE the beauty and to NOTICE a feeling of gratitude. I start with being grateful for being able to appreciate beauty – and then move to something else if I can find it. I take a moment to pause, to appreciate and then “life” resumes again. One thing I notice is that these “moments” seem to be getting more frequent. Maybe it is spring coming … or maybe it is that my noticing has changed.

Anonymous

photo source

A Beauty Walk Each Morning

I’ve been meeting once a week with a small group of friends as we are all wanting to find more balance in our lives and figure we can support each other in doing so. Each week we commit to one thing that will make a difference for us in the coming week.

Each week so far I have committed to the same thing, as I want to really embed it in my body and psyche as an unbreakable habit. Here’s what it is:

I commit to taking a beauty walk each morning, no matter how short, and most importantly I do NOT open ANY email, or even my computer, in the morning until I have at least stepped outside and taken several breaths of fresh air. That’s the bare minimum, but more usually it is a half hour to an hour and a half walk where I notice all the beauty around me and greet it with gratitude and awe.

Amy Lenzo
Beauty Dialogues
Photo by Amy

A 3 Second Ritual

A 3 sec. ritual...
I probably started this about 10 years ago, but the way time flies, swoops and bends it might have been more or less.
In my kitchen at home during the first sip of coffee or tea in the morning and often then the first sip sip of a cold beer in the PM I will “notice” what my eyes are resting on (or I will look at something intentionally) and bless/thank that object and all it’s touched.

Christian Swenson
Human Jazz

photo source

Ritual as a General Way of Life

In the broadest sense, I see each day and each waking moment as a Ritual - an opportunity to ‘practice the presence’ (allowing spirit to bless each interaction - whether this be between humans or between trees, animals, rocks, angels or any other manifestation of the One Life).

For me, each day upon waking I attempt to remember who I am and where I am and what opportunity awaits me during the new day. I always begin with a cup of hot water and 30 minutes of meditation before heading out on an 8-mile neighborhood run (on weekends year-round I run the local Issaquah Alps or the Cascades in the summer months for 3-4 hours to commune with nature). I’m then ready to open emails and have client meetings or go volunteer my time. Whenever I can, I stop and give thanks during the day for the gifts of life and ask that I be shown where I can be of most service and where my next classroom for personal growth is happening.

Although ritual is a form that brings certain qualities and blessings into a focus, it is now more a general way of life. That’s all for now.


photo source