Saying Goodnight to Our Neighbors

I'm sitting on a boring conference call and started thinking about rituals. I actually have fought myself to have less rituals, as most of mine were "OCD-like" and really bothered me. For example, I used to always make sure I started walking with my left foot and stopped with my right, so I would take an even number of
steps. I'd end up bumping into things and going near bonkers when I had to stop, trying to remember what foot took the last step. That was a bad ritual, though it's funny in hind sight.

We have some rituals with Ona that are pretty cool, though. Every night at bed time we close the blinds, then the drapes while saying good night to our neighbors. I wish I could say it's because we want her to have a sense of community, but it's really just because windows are her favorite toy. We open them up and say "good morning" to the neighbors in the morning.

I'm drawing blanks on other things we do now, though. If you want to look into behaviors people get into, there are probably few groups of people with more bizarre rituals than baseball players. They are widely thought of as highly superstitious, and players tend to get into rituals with things such as patterns of adjusting between pitches, jumping over the foul line when going onto/off the field, drawing symbols in the dirt with their bats/feet, and on and on. I never strung together a great enough run to have one common ritual, so I can't say I was a member of that club, but I love learning what the pros do to calm their nerves.

If you want to read more, this article has some good tales of superstitions, some are rituals, some are just superstitions. The biggest ritual guy I can think of is a player named Nomar Garciaparra. Between pitches, he goes through a very elaborate deal where he adjusts his gloves, taps his toes, adjusts the gloves, taps the toes, taps the helmet, and so on.

Eric Muntz
Projectminer.com
ericmuntz@gmail.com


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Sometimes Rituals Turn up. Sometimes They Vanish.

Rituals. Mmh. At certain times in my life, certain rituals turn up. Like meditation in the morning. Sometimes they vanish again. Partly because of a lack of discipline on my part. Partly because of completely mysterious reasons.

Right now, living the pretty scheduled life of a working father, my rituals are (randomly):

• Deep muscular core workout every Tuesday evening
• Anusara-Yoga at Sunday nights
• Singing a good night song to my son three times a week
• Talking my son to sleep. A little ritual I created when Finn couldn't find the gateway to the causal on his own. It's partly progressive muscle relaxation combined with a form of prayer. I always let him decide whether he wants to fall asleep alone or if I should guide him. Finn is 4.5 years old.
• Group meditation (1 hour) and energy work every Thursday night
• Trying hard to drink at least 2 liters of water every day and mostly succeeding
• A cup of strong black coffee in the morning
• Sensual love including oil-massage as regular as possible
• Sitting in a café drinking latte machiato and reading the paper on lonely Sunday mornings

That's it for now. My regular patterns. Rituals in the broad sense. Nonetheless..

Jan Koch
jankoch.email@gmail.com

Tea With My Son When He Gets Home

I have been so busy lately that I've dropped many of my healthy rituals. Not a good time for that!! I've even picked up some unhealthy ones recently (playing that colored lines game too often). It's incredible how tenuous our healthy habits sometimes are. A very good lesson for me, though. I try to "have it all together" all the time, and I need to allow myself to sometimes NOT!
I am also trying to show this part to others more regularly, rather than hide behind the "got it all together" and "doesn't get perturbed" masks.

But in this last week of school this quarter I have been turning back toward the healthy ones more. One that I have never dropped is praying before dinner. We go around the table and say what we are thankful for at that moment. It is a great way to slow down, and approach the meal with more presence, intention, and gratitude.

Another ritual is having oolong tea with my son when he gets home from school in the afternoon. It is a nice way to relax and be present together. We also read together most evenings before bed. This is probably one of my favorite rituals. We are currently reading the Chronicles of Narnia together. We both enjoy fantasy stories, and simply lying in bed together at the end of the day before going to sleep.

I have also been playing squash once a week with someone who is right at my level. We have a real good battle with each other!! I push myself very hard, and have a lot of fun in the process. This is my only regular exercise at the moment, but it's nice to have a regular time to meet with someone else to keep me engaged with it.

Rituals that I am currently interested in including more in my life are: coloring and drawing, recording and contemplating my night-time dreams, sitting meditation, playing piano, and creative visualization.

Michael Byrne
Creating Vitality



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What's Most Needed that I'm Most Ready to Do?

not sure i have any rituals anymore. i meditate on el trains and airplanes. i clear the email inbox once a month or so, if i'm lucky. i keep working on the house, picking my way along rather than pushing for a schedule. i do open space when people ask. i'm slowly reforming my late-night habits so that i get more cozy time with jill in the evenings. i've volunteered as the steward of a piece of riverside nature trail behind our house, so i am thinking about making trash pickup while walking that space a new sort of ritual, i guess. that will be weather dependent. that's sort of how more and more is happening around here, based on the weather, inside and outside. maybe it's ritual giving way to being in it all the time and just doing the thing that i can, whatever i can, os, email, community, carpentry, food, laundry or whatever that is most in need of doing and that i am most ready to do. it's either brilliant or i'm full of it. flip a coin!

Michael

A Beautiful, Gentle Place

I'm afraid I'm not very disciplined, so rituals in my life are driven mostly by challenging circumstances. There was a time some years ago, for example, when I was caught up in a great deal of emotional turbulence around departing relationships. After talking with a psychic, I learned every night before sleep to open myself entirely to the universe and RECEIVE. The energy would flow in and even on the darkest days supported me. I do walk labyrinths from time to time as a way of clearing away the mind debris, often when a decision needs to be made. I have one near my home. It's behind a church in a sheltered area next to a daycare center. The path is lined with shells and bits of colored glass. There is a fir tree growing up at one place in the path! A beautiful, gentle place.

Dan Oestreich
Unfolding Leadership

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